I messed up!

So, this post is 100% anxiety provoked. I am super anxious today because of something I did last night. I’m sure some of you can relate. You know that feeling when you accidentally send a text to someone that you didn’t mean to and you get that instant sick, panicky, omg, I want to die right now, feeling? Well, I’ve been feeling that since last night.

So, I’m sure most of you read my post titled “The Emotional Texter” in which I admitted to being an emotional texter and vowed to not text but call when I have something important to say to someone (and I fully intend to do that); however, there are times when I can’t just call and tell someone something because I’m too apprehensive, so a text is really the only way.

Sometimes, I get super anxious when I have something that I want to say to someone and it causes me to hesitate. It’s the fear of rejection and/or ridicule. I was never like this before doing the shows. Anyway, sometimes it’ll take me a month or longer to be brave enough to say something that I need to say to someone, so I’ve gotten used to writing out what I would like to say (in the notes app) on my phone. I’ll just leave it there and sit with it until I get brave enough to actually send it.

Last night, I wanted to say something to someone so I opened up my notes and wrote out what I wanted to say. I felt comfortable with it and thought to myself “eff it, I’m going to be brave and just send it” so, I hit good old copy and paste, put it in a text and sent away. Felt brave enough to not even proof read it before hitting send. GO ME, right?!? WRONG. SO, SO WRONG.

I didn’t realize that I was writing in a “note” that I had already written in. (Insert huge FML here). Soooooo, this poor person, got both.

I want to die! I immediately sent the “omg that wasn’t for you” text and the “omg, I’m literally dying” text and then the 3rd, obligatory, long message trying to explain that ended up making zero sense and made me sound crazier than if I had just left it alone.

FUCK. Anxiety is the worst. So, yeah; this is what I’m dealing with right now and it’s not fun at all. AT ALL. Hope your weekend is going better than mine at this point. 🤦🏼‍♀️🙄🤦🏼‍♀️🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

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3 thoughts on “I messed up!

  1. Oh, aaaack! We have all been there — and I’m so glad that I’m not the only one that writes out texts in notes first to mull over them before hitting “send”.

    Of course, I at one point did that because I didn’t want the other person to see the … of me typing forever, and I’d also then hit send and then delete the thread so I wouldn’t see if I was left on read. Common occurrence with that one.

    Once I realized why I was doing that, I took the much better route of just not texting that person at all.

    Didn’t cease my overall anxiety, but let me tell you, that text separation felt really good.

    And now each time I open up notes to type something, I’m going to make damn sure I’m starting with a fresh page. Especially considering I’m a writer and many of my notes consist of next book ideas — about dead bodies in the woods, and matters of love (two entirely different books, for the record lol), so that would be awkward if that’s what sent along with a long thought out text. 😳

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      1. You’re so welcome, and yes, pretty sure any long text I’m sending would not be helped by starting out talking about burying bodies out in the woods. Probably… 🤣🤣🤣

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