The secret life of the empath

You might be an empath if…

I’ve never done much research on Empaths. Always knew that I was an empathetic/sympathetic individual but never investigated the intricate details of what it meant to actually be an “empath”, until now. An incredible person that I met not too long ago, had me read a book that was……quite insightful/revealing into the world of empaths, albeit this book was quite “extra” as she put it. However, the message resonated. This book tells the story of a young man who was literally tormented by an all consuming (unwanted) ability to absorb all of the energy around him. It wasn’t until he was able to fully comprehend and accept this gift, that he was no longer tortured by it and conversely, was able to bestow light and love onto those suffering.

Have you ever walked into a room feeling neutral and within minutes, felt a wave of emotion permeate you? The emotion can be that of joy, calm, peace, love, clarity or to the contrary, heaviness, edginess, nervousness, anger, stress and did this in turn become all consuming to you? Did it take over your entire psyche and shift your entire mood? Have you ever been watching tv or a movie and one single scene hits so hard that it shifts your entire focus and completely alters the way in which you feel? Have you struggled to understand why being around certain people makes you calm and at ease where others make you feel tense or stressed? Have you ever been around someone who was ill, and suddenly, you didn’t feel well and thought, “oh crap, now I’m sick” but as soon as you were no longer in that person’s presence, you didn’t feel sick any longer? Have you ever been in a romantic relationship with someone and craved certain emotional things from them that no matter how hard they claimed to be trying to give to you, you simply didn’t “feel” it from them? If you answered, yes to the questions that I asked above, you my friend, are an empath. You feel so deeply that you literally inherit what others are feeling/experiencing. It pervades you and takes over your entire body like an avalanche. It can manifest emotionally or physically or both. It can be a blessing and a curse. I have a good friend who is a definite empath. She struggles to be around negative energy. It drains her so she chooses to avoid people that cause her to feel this way. I am in no way saying that there is anything wrong with how she chooses her self preservation but what I have learned is that once you are educated in your empathetic nature, you can learn to control your internal reactions to the unwanted emotions. This way your friends who might be struggling or in need of your strength and support, aren’t left feeling abandoned. In fact, you can help them with your calming, loving energy. Just as quickly as you felt their energy, you could pass yours on to them. This takes time and I am just at the very beginning stages of learning techniques myself. In other words, I have no effing clue how to navigate this yet. Empaths have the biggest hearts and often give too much. They genuinely desire to bring others happiness and joy and it sometimes comes across as “too much” or “overkill” or with some sort of ulterior motive when that couldn’t be further from the truth. Empaths are highly intuitive and some might even say “psychic” but for this posts sake, let’s just call it sharp intuition. Some of us literally KNOW when someone is being disingenuous or not forthcoming. This is a double edged sword. How insulting is it to tell someone that you don’t trust what they are telling you or that you believe them to be dishonest or to not have the best of intentions? Because we struggle with this intuition, we often doubt ourselves out of guilt. We inherently want to believe that people wouldn’t knowingly deceive us. If left unresolved, we will be burdened with a heaviness in our chests and a nagging feeling that won’t leave us until we reconcile this which is often met with the other person becoming defensive. Empaths are often introverts because they absorb so much energy that they feel drained after being in social settings and often choose to avoid altogether.

If any of this resonates with you, take this quiz to see where you fall on the empath scale and to learn what you might want to work on to feel some relief.

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